To my son's future first girlfriend / fling / gray-area-person: don't worry sweetie, I won't eat you alive, but I know what you're doing

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I got all bases and angles covered: you could be his "best friend", garage band mate, lab partner... his room's door will always be open when you're around.

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Better yet, once he starts bringing girls home, the door knob, it's going.

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A girl should be worth it to deserve a good guy, too. And that is what I'm busting my ass doing, making him one